hello PETA

i do realize that half of everything i say is not funny.
in fact, those unfunny things are often very stupid.
and certainly not worth listening to.
but to be fair, those odds are better than anyone else i know.

now i forgot what i was saying. dammit.

oh, yeah.
there should be a puppy trade-in program.
dogs are not as fascinating as cute little puppies.
couldn't we start a business where we leased puppies like they were Toyotas?
people could trade them back in for a new puppy every year or so.
(but i'm not sure what we would do with the nasty old dogs we would get back. they would essentially be worthless...)
i think people buy puppies and end up with dogs.
just like guys fall in love with a girlfriend and end up with a wife.
maybe there should be an exchange program for wives, too...

how many dollars can i net in the first year of my puppy exchange?
if it is fiscally wise i will draw up a proposal tomorrow.
not sure who i would get to invest in a business like this, though.
probably hunters or people who wear fur coats. they hate animals.