I drone on about Africa. Day number whatever. 14, i think.

i'm lazy. yes, even on foreign soil, with so much to see and do (well, not really, but more about that in a second), i sit in a hotel restaurant and stare at the computer monitor. i choose this over going outside into the real Liberia. crazy? i don't think so. and neither does www.lonelyplanet.com.
"Travel Tips
Monrovia has no sights and even the market is not an exotic place since mainly Chinese goods are sold there. Other than walk in the streets and mingle with the people not much is offered."
(African internet connection still refuses to let me hyperlink. i give up. if you care, http://www.lonelyplanet.com/letters/afr/libe_pc.htm)



now, time for a motley collection of my other African discoveries/whatevers.
(Someone might realize that this is just text copied and pasted from an endless email pounding. as previously mentioned, i'm lazy.)

after a tough first two weeks, i am now completely fine with the coffee. despite the fact that dirty water is the biggest threat to life in Liberia (and coffee contains its fair share of water). because clean water is in such short supply, i have accepted that any water that comes to me in boiled form is going to be sub par. much like the street meat that i haven't eaten but i hear is fine. It is probably old and dirty and maybe even rotten, but they burn it so badly during preparation that at least the little germs and vermin are killed. regardless, i won't be trying that food any time soon, as the little cart that they push it in says "Cow Meat" on the side, rather than "Beef". for some reason, in my mind, there is a huge distinction between the two. (maybe i'm nervous because they make such a point to say Cow Meat, and yet in all of my bush travels, i have yet to see a cow. how far do they push these carts?)

i keep talking about this- soon, i intend to tackle the taxi system. that's going to be a bit more difficult than my previous Road Rules Challenges, as the taxis pick up 6 or 7 people per route. it is sort of like riding in an Airport Shuttle the size of a VW Rabbit. it's further complicated because, in order to hail a taxi, you have to stand by the side of the road and throw up gang signs that indicate which area you are traveling to, and then a taxi that is heading that same way will stop for you. this sort of collective travel forces you to take one car to the closest central junction, and then transfer to another car that is traveling from that junction toward your ultimate destination. like transfers on a city bus. the major upside is the price, approximately $25 Liberian (or 48 cents US) for the entire cross-city trip.

the next problem will be getting these taxis to take me to the places i need to go. i've got to run an errand for a friend this week, but without proper street names and numbers, all directions sound like this:
"once the road gets really bumpy and a snake springs out and latches on to your neck and someone tries to sell you a nativity scene they hand carved and you can't find a cow meat cart anywhere and the taxi driver wants 40 dollars US, you've gone too far.  turn around. drive back 300 yards while continuously beeping your horn and weaving around potholes and livery motorcycles.  and whatever you do, try not to kill the kids playing football in the street.  we're here to help."


see, i knew this place was going to be like that movie Sunset Boulevard.
i jokingly suggested, prior to this trip, that my only function here would be to rewrite the autobiography of an Aid Worker in exchange for free room and board (what is "board"? i would think that "board" would be lodging, but i assume the word "room" covers that. so is "board" food? or showers? well, they have little of either here, so i guess any of my work would be done in exchange for a free room and mosquito netting).

Sunset Boulevard is one of my favorite movies, but i don't like it enough to recreate it. although as i think about it, maybe i've already started. i didn't attend a funeral for a monkey, but i did allow one to crawl on my shoulders. and i haven't gotten a flat tire yet, but these roads are treacherous. if, instead of getting malaria, the Aid Worker shoots me and leaves me floating face down in a swimming pool (not sure where they'd get water for that), then we will definitely have a problem. for anyone who hasn't bothered to watch a classic movie that came out almost 60 years ago, i should have mentioned, this previous paragraph might contain spoilers.

to make a cohesive sentence out of these jumbled thoughts, everything that's wrong with Liberia could be fixed with a warm shower, high speed internet, and the ability to make time fly.